Join Skype!
by sophisticate
Summary: AU. Crack. In which our little Avenger makes a Skype account. Twoshot.


For those who don't know, Skype is software you can download so you and your friends who also have Skype can video call or call mobiles in another country.

Also, can we pretend that the limit to a Skype password's characters is 40 characters? lol

Enjoy & Review~!

* * *

_"Sakura, there are lots of spiders, snakes, bugs-"_

_"Sasuke."_

_"-pedophiles, rapists, murderers-"_

_"Sasuke."_

_"-and the weather! It's unpredictable, you could get sick and-"_

_"Sasuke, we talked about this. I'm going to Australia whether you like it or not. Besides there's always Skype, just call me when you need me, okay? Don't worry, It's just a week. I love you, Sasuke-kun!" She gave him a smile and one last kiss before she boarded the plane for her week-long Medic trip._

_Sure; Skype. He could do that._

* * *

Monday, 12 nn

During his lunch at the office, he decided on getting started on his Skype.

_Hn,_ he thought. _How difficult could this Skype thing be?_

He brought out his laptop, some coffee, and placed them on his desk.

_Free __**Skype**__ internet calls and cheap phone calls to phones online – __**Skype**_

He read, as he clicked on said link on Google.

He scanned the home page a bit, then proceeded to the _Join Skype_ page.

* * *

**Create an Account**

_First Name:_

_Last Name:_

_Email Address:_

He filled it up that it said,

_First Name: Sasuke_

_Last Name: Uchiha_

_Email Address: sasucakes10(a)me_

He smiled fondly at the email address, he was 10 when Sakura made him the account. Now, he was 19 and she was 18. They were fresh out of college, with Sakura immediately starting her practice as a medic and Sasuke running Uchiha Inc.

He was also sort of embarrassed when he saw the address, Sakura reasoned that uchihasasuke and sasukeuchiha were taken emails, by some wannabees, he recalled.

**Profile Information**

_Birth date: 28 July 1993_

_Gender: Male_

_Country: Japan_

_City:_

_Language: English_

**How Do You Intend To Use Skype?**

_Private Conversations_

He decided to leave the city blank, just in case more fan clubs of him would form, and decide to stalk him.

Now, the difficult part; Choosing a username that wasn't already taken.

_Skype Name: uchihasasuke _**X Skype name not available**

_As expected._

_Skype Name: sasukeuchiha _**X Skype name not available**

_Hn._

_Skype Name: RealSasukeUchiha _**X Skype name not available**

_Tch. Wannabees._

_Skype Name: Sasuke69 _**X Skype name not available**

He tried not to laugh, even if he was cold and serious most of the time, he still was a hormonal, dirty-minded teenager. He pushed that thought away, _Tch. Fangirls, _he rolled his eyes.

He remembered that time when one of those fangirls found his home address and stole his underwear. He was so irritated with them, that he wanted to sue her and ship her to Mexico to live with the coyotes, but Sakura ended up stopping him by cracking jokes about how desperate she was hanging his underwear in her shrine where she would chant around in her tribal headdress with the rest of his fanclub.

Of course, that was why he loved her.

So much, that he was actually making this Skype account just to make sure no pedophiles, ra- no, Sakura can take care of herself.

Or _can she? _he thought._Pfft. I can last a day without talking to her._

Or_ can I?_

With that, he started typing rapidly again.

* * *

_Skype Name: Sasucakes _**X Skype name not available**

Even _that_ was taken?

After two more tries, he decided to look at the suggestions.

**Suggestions:**

_- uchihasasuke01947675_

_- saucycakes847_

_- SasukeU989_

_- sasukun33_

He massaged his temples.

Picking a screen name shouldn't be _that_ difficult.

No way in hell was he going to be _SasukeU989_ or _uchihasasuke01947675_, he was the one and only Sasuke Uchiha.

So, he was going to try for a user name that was less Uchiha-like.

He knew Naruto's user name; RamenKing1. It was practically his username on all websites, as long as RamenLover wasn't taken. So, he thought of user names similar to that; not involving ramen of course.

He tried out many others like DarkNight, or ChidoriYourButt, but they were all taken.

_Small world._

Just then he had an idea,

AvengerUchiha.

* * *

... which backfired.

_Skype Name: AvengerUchiha _**X Skype name not available**

**Suggestions:**

_- AvengerUchiha1_

_- AvengerUchiha2_

Alas, he was one _AvengerUchiha_ too late.

He was starting to get annoyed at these people.

If it weren't for that huge ego of his, then he would've been talking to her by now.

It was already 12:30pm and all he had done was make up user names that were already taken.

_I can't help but be so popular, _he thought and smirked.

_Okay,_ he set his fingers on the keyboard and typed,

_Skype Name: sasucakes _**X Skype name not available**

_Skype Name: uchihaprodigy _**X Skype name not available**

_Hm, it's too easy for those girls to find._

_Skype Name: givemeatomato _**(available)**

_Try that, banshees! _he thought as he smirked to himself.

Well, that was (cocky) Sasuke Uchiha for you.

_Password, _he thought._ This is the easy part._

_..._or so he thought.

He typed in _7281993S_ in the blank, it was his birthday and it was easy to remember.

Password strength: **Poor.**

He scoffed. _So? I want this password._

He tried _riceball19. _Other than tomatoes, riceballs were the only other foods he tolerated.

_Password strength: __**Poor. **__Password is too easy to guess. Choose a more complex password._

He slightly twitched.

Okay, so maybe this Skype thing was getting to his head.

But then, he remembered the time when Naruto hacked into his email and started sending Sakura pictures of Sasuke's butt last year. It was no wonder why Naruto brought a camera everywhere he went for a week.

_Hn, better make it something Naruto would never say._

_H_e smirked and typed in _ihateramen_,_  
_

then he paused, and added

_and sasukeisbetterthannaruto, including the spaces._

That should be a strong password.

It wasn't exacty something you'd expect from Sasuke, but that was the point.

Naruto practically worshipped ramen. He could take in 10 bowls of ramen a day, which is why grocery bill was so high every week.

As for the _sasukeisbetterthannaruto _part,

_I only typed it because it was true, _beamed Sasuke._ Smirk._

* * *

It was almost the end of his lunch break and all he had to do was fill up the 'Are you human?' box.

**Are You Human?**

_船尾__ 12_

_Type in the text above:_

_No, I'm a freakin' vaccuum, _Sasuke mused.

_Lucky for me, I studied some Chinese words. Didn't see that coming did you, Skype?_

_Thought that you could break me through all your dumb usernames and passwords, huh?_

_Well, nope, not for Sasuke Uchiha!_

_That is clearly the traditional Chinese symbol for 'poop', so ha!_

_Ehem, Keep it together. _

Yup, he definitely lost it.

And sure enough. he was able to create his account and activate it.

* * *

While doing some paperwork, he was able to download the Skype application on his laptop.

Now all he had to do was figure it out and call Sakura.

He just wanted to see her.

Oh Sakura, the things you make our little avenger go through.

* * *

Monday, 6pm

**Skype: Sign In**

Skype Name: givemeatomato

Password: ihateramen and sasukeisbetterthannaruto

Yup, an hour of his life down to making a Skype account.

Once he was in the home page, Skype how-to's and tutorials popped out and Sasuke immediately hit _skip_.

Then he laid back in his chair, the back of his neck on the headrest, he closed his eyes and started mumbling to himself.

"Damnit, Sakura.

Running the company is tiring enough.

Why am I even so... worried?

I-I should...go... zzz"

And he drifted off to sleep.

* * *

He dreamt he was in an alleyway.

A little girl about half his size ran was running away. she was being followed by a man in a trench coat...

The girl was running frantically and he saw the terror in her face. Sasuke ran after them to investigate.

Sasuke found the man cornering her as she was making desperate cries for help.

The man grabbed hold of her by the waist, but she pinched him in the inner part of his leg.

"OW! Why you little-! When Kabuto gets here I'll-"

The girl kicked him _where it hurts the most _and ran as fast as she could.

Sasuke only knew one girl in his life who had the guts to do that.

_Sakura._

"SASUKE!" just then, heard a scream, but it wasn't her, or the man. The voice sounded like his annoying, dead-last friend; Naruto.

* * *

Sasuke bolt up awake and bumped his head against a bending-over Naruto's face.

Naruto grinned mischievously, "Naughty Sasuke, you're taken, you know. You've been dating Sakura for three years but if you want me to~ There are lots of SasuNaru shippers that stil want us to happen you know~"

"Shut up, dobe. Now's not the time. Get my keys while I pack a few things. Meet me at the manor, " stated Sasuke as he rushed out of his office to the Uchiha Mansion.

"Sasuke! Wait!" but it was too late.

_Say, Teme left his laptop on. Hey! He has a Skype account! _Naruto grinned as he took the laptop with him and picked up Sasuke's keys, and skipped happily to Sasuke Teme's home.

* * *

He grabbed a few things, a bag and ran past Naruto on the way out while grabbing the keys from him,

He knew what he had to do.

* * *

_"It only takes a few seconds," my ass._

_Studies show that 1 out of 1 Sasuke Uchiha's take an hour to make a Skype account._

* * *

Dun-dun-dun.

jk i'm not that cruel

**Review please!**

Feels good to be back on FF :)


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